Parenting: 6 Tips to Build Independent Play Skills
Should my child play alone?
Independent play is an important part of child development. It helps children build independence, curiosity, and self-help skills. Due to COVID, it might be particularly important right now, when so many people are trying to juggle working from home and child care.
So how can I encourage my young child to play independently? Here are a few simple tips:
1. Start small. Young children may only play independently for a few minutes. However, over time and with practice, children will build to longer and longer periods of independent play. See how long your child plays independently right now, and try adding one or two minutes from there.
2. Make it a habit. Make independent play a part of your daily routine. Choose the timing of your practice thoughtfully. While right before mealtime might seem practical for you, this might not be the ideal time for your child to be successful. Much like adults, a hungry child isn’t likely to be in the best mood or to have the longest attention span!
3. Find space. Find a space where you feel comfortable letting your child be independent. This should be a space where your child can play or climb without hearing the word “no.” It doesn’t need to be a special room! This could be a corner of the living room or a cabinet in your kitchen that has only the Tupperware and spoons that your child likes. This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn't be nearby. This also means that you give your child space. If you’re sitting right next to your child, he/she will probably want to play with you. Sit apart from your child and busy yourself with another activity (the perfect opportunity to get some work or household tasks complete).
4. Choose appropriate and interesting toys: Choose toys that are appropriate to your child’s development and toys that they are interested in. Take a moment to watch your child: what do they like to do with toys when left to their own devices? Choose toys that follow these interests. For example, if you’re always catching your child emptying your diaper bag, choose toys that let them take things out: nesting cups or boxes, Tupperware containers, or fill an old backpack or purse with scarves and small toys. Offer a few different options. Here are some toys that we recommend: https://www.ascendsupportservices.com/blog/toys-that-grow-with-your-child
5. Create novelty: Novelty doesn’t mean always buying new toys. Take the toys that you have a make a toy rotation. Divide your toys into two or more sets that include toys and books that your child enjoys and can play with independently. Put one set out for your child to play with and the other sets in the closet. Switch these sets every month or so, making the old toys feel like new!
6. Limit distractions: Screens are distracting! Try turning off screens. Even if your child doesn't seem interested in the television, even a moment of distraction can derail independent play. Although you do want to offer them a variety of toys, avoid having too many. Children can get overstimulated by an overcluttered space. Having a toy rotation may also help limit the number of toys out.
